Dear Abby:

When I worked at MJ - I would read Dear Abby at lunch everyday - I loved it - reading peoples problems and let me tell you that people wrote the dumbest stuff too like:

Dear Abby,
My daughter didn't invite children to her wedding but cousin "Debbie" said on the response card that she was bringing her children - what do we do?

sincerely,
Want to do the right thing in Idaho

and then Abby would say something like well Emily Post would say blah blah blah....

or

Dear Abby,
My husband went to a bachelor party and there were strippers, he promised me he wouldn't go but he did anyway. I just don't think I will ever be able to make love to him again without feeling dirty. Please help me.

Betrayed in Topeka, KS

and then Abby would say something like well you two should seek counseling blah blah blah....

Now here is what I would like to see more of in Dear Abby (taken from a forward I got from a friend):

Dear Abby,
My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the asshole will buy me a diamond.

Sincerely, Bitchy in NEW YORK