Microsoft

A little less than 2 years ago, Microsoft created this product called the XBOX 360 and rushed it out to market before any other game system so that they could be first and more people would buy it. They decided to skip the whole quality control step of manufacturing, and the result was a defective system. Some estimates say that 33% (yes, that's one in three) will break and need to be replaced. When the box finally goes bad, three red lights flash in a ring. This has fondly become known to the lay public as the "Red Ring of Death".

Here is my story with the RROD.

August 20th - I decide to play Halo 2 to relax and blow some stuff up. The game system freezes. I turn it off, and turn it back on, and am overjoyed to see the RROD. I go online and go through their troubleshooting system, which has some enlightening suggestions to fix defective hardware (it's the unplug it and plug it back in type of advice).

That done, I call customer support. There I get to talk to Max. Let me correct that - I get to have Max talk to me. He tells me to unplug it and plug it back in again. After loudly stating "technical support" and all the variations thereof into what Microsoft thinks is a "voice recognition" program, I eventually get to talk to the Indian guy that speaks a deliteful version of english that makes it so we can barely communicate. After going through the whole process, he informs me that their server is down in an homage to the XBOX system, and that I should call back tomorrow.

August 21st - I call back. I unplug the system and plug it in again. Much to my surprise, it still doesn't work. Eventually, Indian guy gets on the phone and sends me a prepaid box to stick my broken xbox in to mail to them.

August 24th - I get the prepaid box, put my functionally challenged XBOX in it, and take it to UPS.

August 30th - My XBox arrives at the texas border, to be sent across the border where an outsourced repair worker opens it up to take a look.

September 3rd - they decided it's broken

September 13th - they decided to send me a new one. Microsoft does this endearing thing where instead of sending you a new one, they superglue some pieces together from old ones and then put a brand new manufacturing date. According to this, mine was manufactured the week my original one broke. Why it took ten days to ship it? They had to give it a little extra love

September 18th - the XBOX arrives. I plug it in. I turn it on. RROD

I call Max back. He is delightful as always, and suggests I unplug it and plug it back in. Then I get through to Steve. Here's a question - if you were an indian guy and were going to make up an american sounding name, wouldn't you pick something interesting, like "My name is Captain America"?

He informs me that he is sorry that my XBOX is broken (their screen prompts tell them to always apologize at the begining of the conversation, because it will make us feel better, and, of course, it works perfectly). I inform him that I'm glad that I have had the privilege of seeing another XBOX system, and look forward to another one weeks from now.

Actually, that wasn't how it went at all. Why the F%CK can't they check their F%CKING systems before they F%CKING send them out, and if they F%CKING send out a defective one, why the F%CK do I have to F%CKING wait for them to F%CKING get the second F%CKING broken one back and dick around with it again before they F%CKING send me a third, likely F%CKING broken one?

The best part - they have a policy that they keep sending you "refurbished" machines unless your third one breaks. As you could easily google online if you wanted to waste your time too, my experience is far from abnormal.

Please - Friends don't let their friends buy XBOX 360's.